The Strange Adventures of Mr. Middleton Read online

  _What Befell Mr. Middleton Because of the Second Gift of the Emir._

  "The individual whose sad taking-off I have just narrated," said theemir of the tribe of Al-Yam, "affords an excellent example of the powerof good clothes. Suppose he had secreted himself under Miss Almira'sbed wearing a jumper, overalls, and a mask. He would have beenarrested and lodged in the penitentiary."

  "But he is now dead," said Mr. Middleton.

  "He had better be dead, than continuing his career of villainy andcrime," quoth the emir sternly, and then passing his eyes over theperson of Mr. Middleton, he remarked the somewhat threadbare andglossy garments of that excellent young man. "If you would accept asuit of raiment from me," continued the emir with a hesitation thatbetrayed the delicacy which was one of the most marked of the manyestimable traits that made his character so admirable, "I would beoverjoyed and obliged. The interests of you, my only friend in thisvast land, have become to me as my own. Unfortunately I have no Frankclothes except the one suit I wear daily. But of the costumes of mynative land, I have abundant store, and as we are of the same stature,I beg you will make me happy by accepting one."

  Speaking some words to Mesrour in the language of Arabia, theblackamore brought in and proceeded to invest Mr. Middleton with anelegant silken habit consisting of a pair of exceedingly baggytrousers of the hue of emeralds, a round jacket whose crimson rivalledthe rubies of Farther Ind, and a vest of snowy white. Double rows ofsmall pearls ornamented the edges of the jacket, which was short andjust met a copper-colored sash about the waist. After inducting himinto a pair of white leggings and bronze shoes, Mesrour clapped uponhis head a large white turban ornamented with a black aigret.

  Mr. Middleton looked very well in his new garments and while the emirwas complimenting him upon this fact and the grace of his bearing andMr. Middleton was uttering protestations of gratitude, Mesrour busiedhimself, and Mr. Middleton, turning with intent to resume his wontedgarb, was astonished to find it in a network of heavy twine tied witha multiplicity of knots.

  "Mesrour will bring you your Frank clothes in the morning. I am verytired, and so I will bid you good night," and the yawn which nowoverspread the face of the accomplished prince told more than hiswords that the audience was ended.

  Mr. Middleton looked at the bundle with its array of knots. To untieit would require a long time and the prince was repeating his yawn andhis good night. Even had he not hesitated to offend the prince bydemanding opportunity to resume his customary vestments and to wearyhim by making him wait for this operation, which promised to be a longone, he would have been without volition in the matter; for inobedience to a gesture, Mesrour grasped his arm and with greatdeference, but inflexible and unalterable firmness, led him throughthe shop and closed the street door behind him.

  Mr. Middleton was greatly disconcerted at finding himself in thestreet arrayed in these brilliant and barbarous habiliments, butreflecting that the citizens traveling the streets at this hour wouldperhaps take him for some high official in one of the many fraternalorders that entertain, instruct, and edify the inhabitants of thecity, he proceeded on his way somewhat reassured. As he was changingcars well toward his lodgings, at a corner where a large public hallreared its facade, he heard himself accosted, and turning, beheld aportly person wearing a gilt paper crown, a long robe of purple velvetbordered with rabbit's fur spotted with black, and bearing in his handa bung-starter, which, covered with gilt paper, made a very creditablecounterfeit of a royal scepter.

  "Come here once," said this personage.

  With great affableness expressing a willingness to come twice, if itwere desired, Mr. Middleton accompanied the personage, as with an airof brooding mystery, the latter led him down the street twenty feetfrom where they had first stood.

  "Was you going to the masquerade?"

  "Yes," said Mr. Middleton, divining from the presence of the personageand two other masquers whom he now beheld entering the hall, that amasquerade was in progress.

  "What'll you take to stay away?"

  "Why?"

  "You'll take the prize."

  "What is the prize and why should the possibility of winning it determe?"

  "The prize is five dollars. It's this way. I am a saloonkeeper. GustafKleiner and I are in love with the same girl. She is in love with allboth of us. She don't know what to say. She can't marry all both, soshe says she'll marry the one what gits the prize at the masquerade.If you git the prize, don't either of us git the girl already. I'llgive you twenty dollars to stay away."

  "But what of Gustaf Kleiner? Have you paid him?"

  "He is going to be a devil. I hired two Irishmans for five dollars tomeet him up the street, cut off his tail, break his horns, and putwhitewash on his red suit. He is all right. I'll make it thirtydollars and a ticket of the raffle for my watch to-morrow."

  "Done," said Mr. Middleton, and he proceeded to draw up a contractbinding him to stay away from the masquerade for a consideration ofthirty dollars.

  It was not the least remarkable part of his adventure that he did notmeet Gustaf Kleiner in his damaged suit and for a consideration offifty dollars, lend him the magnificent Oriental costume. He did notsee Gustaf Kleiner at all, nor did he win the watch in the raffle andthe chronicler hopes that the setting down of these facts will notcause the readers to doubt his veracity, for he is aware that usuallythese things are ordered differently.

  Having kept the Oriental costume for several days and seeing noprospect of ever wearing it, and his small closet having becomecrowded by the presence of a new twenty-dollar suit which he purchasedwith part of his gains, he presented it to the young lady in Englewoodpreviously mentioned, who reduced the ruby red jacket to a beautifulbolero jacket, made a table throw of the sash, and after muchhesitation seized the exceedingly baggy trousers--which were made withbut one seam--and ripping them up, did, with a certain degree ofconfusion, fashion them into two lovely shirt waists. But she did notwear them in the presence of Mr. Middleton and did not even mentionthem to him. Nor did Mr. Middleton allude to any of these transactionswhen on the appointed day and hour he again sat in the presence of theurbane prince of the tribe of Al-Yam. Handing him a bowl of delicatelyflavored sherbet, Achmed began to narrate The Adventure of WilliamHicks.